What would you do if someone starts coughing next to you in public, says VANESSA FELTZ

"DON'T panic, Mr Mainwaring! Don't panic!" Never has the stricken cry of Dad's Army's Lance Corporal Jones been more in tune with our national mood. For despite the message, Jonesy was always panicking, and so are we as day after day the threat of a global "pandemic" is trumpeted in the media, and the voice of the virus is heard in the land.

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